Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Hurting, Healing, Loving
Just FYI, this post is all about me venting, so you can stop reading now if you want. I started out writing tonight in a very angry state, once again being hurt by my son and his actions. I was writing some pretty angry stuff, and then I thought about the message this past Sunday at church from anger to peace. Damn it, why now, really, it's just not fair. I want to be angry, I want to rant and rave, but then I remember that I love this kid. As mad as he makes me, as much as I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, I can't not love him. My heart hurts, my soul aches and I'm tired of crying. I just want the best for him. I want him to find peace, I want him to be happy, I want him to recognize that he doesn't need to do the things he does thinking that's going to bring him happiness. God, please be with him, watch over him and let him know that he is loved. God be with me, calm my heart, ease my hurt and help me find peace. Amen
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Slow Down, You Move to Fast
So for the past 31 hours, I have been on a technology fast. Some of you may be asking, "what in the heck is that?" Well, I will tell you. For me, I chose to not use a phone, a computer, a TV, an iPod or an iPad. for 24 hours. More about my choices later. I am very proud of myself, I actually made it 31 hours. Of course it could be that I was sleeping for most of the overtime.
I started off the morning reminiscing about growing up. I can remember when I was really young, probably around 5, we had a rotary dial phone and a party line. There were two other families on the same phone line as us, so you always had to listen to make sure no one else was on the line before you started dialing. Now, I'm not THAT old, so the rate of change in the area of technology is really incredible.That was only 42 years ago. I got my first cell phone when I was 22 and all it did was make phone calls lol.
Then there is the TV, I remember when I was young, we had a black and white TV. I don't remember when we got color TV, maybe when I was around 9 or 10. I do remember as I grew up and eventually got my own TV, all the times having to move it around and the thing weighed hundreds of pounds and took up the whole back seat of my car. Now we have 42 inch TVs that are 3 inches thick and weigh about as much as my book bag did in high school.
On to computers. I learned a little bit about computers my junior year of High School. But it was nothing like today. It was pretty much a glorified typewriter back then. I believe I got my own personal computer when I was 25. I didn't even have one for college. It sounds so crazy now, and again, it wasn't that long ago. Now, we carry them around in a bag and it's hard to be without one.
All this to say, times sure have changed. So that was my morning, sort of thinking about how different life is today from when I was little, NOT SO LONG AGO. LOL
Then as I started working in the yard in the afternoon, I thought more about how much we depend on all these devices, at least I do. There were several times when something would pop into my mind and I would think, oh I need to look that up, or oh I need to call them.
Nope, not today. I even had to resort to writing things down on paper. Wow.
As the day went on, I didn't find that the practice was hard, but it was a little annoying, not being able to get things done the way I wanted. I had to go back to our first practice and be patient.
In the evening, I sat on my deck to read a book. LOL, if you want to know the truth, I had to borrow a book from a friend, because all of my new books are on my iPad and I couldn't use it. Then it started to get dark so I had to stop reading. Now if I had my iPad I could have kept reading, oh well.
Once it was dark, I decided to build a fire in my fire pit. It was a beautiful night out. As I'm sitting out on the back patio, the fire is going, I'm laying on the chaise and Talos (my dog) is laying on the love seat. It's then that I finally relax, I finally let go and I notice God. It took me all day, but it finally happened. I look over at Talos, he looks at me, the fire is crackling the air is cool and there in my backyard, God is with us. Not to say God hasn't been there all along, I just finally allowed myself the quiet and the time to recognize that God had been there all along. I could feel this deep welling up coming from inside my body, it is one of the best feelings in the world and that overwhelming sense of peace and love overcame me and all was well with the world and my soul.
I challenge you to do your own fast, whatever that means for you. I would have to say it is definitely in the stepping away that allows me to recognize God's presence more. I'm going to try and live my life a little more unplugged than I have been. Blessings on the journey!
I started off the morning reminiscing about growing up. I can remember when I was really young, probably around 5, we had a rotary dial phone and a party line. There were two other families on the same phone line as us, so you always had to listen to make sure no one else was on the line before you started dialing. Now, I'm not THAT old, so the rate of change in the area of technology is really incredible.That was only 42 years ago. I got my first cell phone when I was 22 and all it did was make phone calls lol.
Then there is the TV, I remember when I was young, we had a black and white TV. I don't remember when we got color TV, maybe when I was around 9 or 10. I do remember as I grew up and eventually got my own TV, all the times having to move it around and the thing weighed hundreds of pounds and took up the whole back seat of my car. Now we have 42 inch TVs that are 3 inches thick and weigh about as much as my book bag did in high school.
On to computers. I learned a little bit about computers my junior year of High School. But it was nothing like today. It was pretty much a glorified typewriter back then. I believe I got my own personal computer when I was 25. I didn't even have one for college. It sounds so crazy now, and again, it wasn't that long ago. Now, we carry them around in a bag and it's hard to be without one.
All this to say, times sure have changed. So that was my morning, sort of thinking about how different life is today from when I was little, NOT SO LONG AGO. LOL
Then as I started working in the yard in the afternoon, I thought more about how much we depend on all these devices, at least I do. There were several times when something would pop into my mind and I would think, oh I need to look that up, or oh I need to call them.
Nope, not today. I even had to resort to writing things down on paper. Wow.
As the day went on, I didn't find that the practice was hard, but it was a little annoying, not being able to get things done the way I wanted. I had to go back to our first practice and be patient.
In the evening, I sat on my deck to read a book. LOL, if you want to know the truth, I had to borrow a book from a friend, because all of my new books are on my iPad and I couldn't use it. Then it started to get dark so I had to stop reading. Now if I had my iPad I could have kept reading, oh well.
Once it was dark, I decided to build a fire in my fire pit. It was a beautiful night out. As I'm sitting out on the back patio, the fire is going, I'm laying on the chaise and Talos (my dog) is laying on the love seat. It's then that I finally relax, I finally let go and I notice God. It took me all day, but it finally happened. I look over at Talos, he looks at me, the fire is crackling the air is cool and there in my backyard, God is with us. Not to say God hasn't been there all along, I just finally allowed myself the quiet and the time to recognize that God had been there all along. I could feel this deep welling up coming from inside my body, it is one of the best feelings in the world and that overwhelming sense of peace and love overcame me and all was well with the world and my soul.
I challenge you to do your own fast, whatever that means for you. I would have to say it is definitely in the stepping away that allows me to recognize God's presence more. I'm going to try and live my life a little more unplugged than I have been. Blessings on the journey!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Fasting from Media and Technology
On Sunday's during his current sermon series, Rev. Kent has been giving us a practice. The practice for this week is to fast one day from media and technology and spend time with God. That means, no phone, no Facebook, no Tweeting, no TV, no iPod, no iPad, no computer, no Word with Friends and no texting. All of this for 24 hours. As I sit here and look at the list, it sort of brings into focus, how much time I spend plugged in. Now part of it is my job, keeping the website updated, keeping things posted on Facebook, etc... but part of it is just how I am connecting with my friends and family. As I think about plugging in, I'm wondering if I need to be using more than one power source. Maybe I need to be spending just as much time plugging into God.
I have decided that tomorrow, Tuesday, March 13, 2012 is going to be my day to disconnect from the 120V and to connect to God. It's going to be an interesting journey. I know I can do it, but it really has been a long time since I've completely stepped away. Please pray for me, pray for rest, pray for patience, pray for comfort and pray for God to be present with me. I really am looking forward to this day. Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes. Blessings, brian
P.S. Don't call me, text me, message me tomorrow, I'm not answering. :-)
I have decided that tomorrow, Tuesday, March 13, 2012 is going to be my day to disconnect from the 120V and to connect to God. It's going to be an interesting journey. I know I can do it, but it really has been a long time since I've completely stepped away. Please pray for me, pray for rest, pray for patience, pray for comfort and pray for God to be present with me. I really am looking forward to this day. Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes. Blessings, brian
P.S. Don't call me, text me, message me tomorrow, I'm not answering. :-)
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