Hurting, Healing, Loving

Just FYI, this post is all about me venting, so you can stop reading now if you want. I started out writing tonight in a very angry state, once again being hurt by my son and his actions. I was writing some pretty angry stuff, and then I thought about the message this past Sunday at church from anger to peace. Damn it, why now, really, it's just not fair. I want to be angry, I want to rant and rave, but then I remember that I love this kid. As mad as he makes me, as much as I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, I can't not love him. My heart hurts, my soul aches and I'm tired of crying. I just want the best for him. I want him to find peace, I want him to be happy, I want him to recognize that he doesn't need to do the things he does thinking that's going to bring him happiness. God, please be with him, watch over him and let him know that he is loved. God be with me, calm my heart, ease my hurt and help me find peace. Amen